Favorite Sayings

Here's just some of my favorite sayings:

You cheat on me, I'll jerk you ball headed (yes.. I know it should be bald headed.. but being southern, you drop some letters when you talk lol)

She's so skinny, she's gonna fall out her butt and hang herself.

When something is absurd, instead of saying good lord: Good gravy.

When you dislike someone: I wouldn't pee in her ear, if her brain was on fire..

When something doesn't look straight, like a picture on the wall:  Does this look caddywompus to you?

When offering to bring something to someone's get together: You want me to bring lil' minture cheese sandwiches?  (no.. it's not little miniature.. its lil minture.. pronounced min-chur lol)

When you have to repeat yourself, like when yelling at kids: I done told you that fifty-eleven times!

Tellin your husband you're gonna rock his world:  Imma make you grin like a possum eatin sweet taters.

When shit just seems like a pain in the ass:  Why is everything such a rigamorroll (pronounced rig-a-more-roll)

You can't put flowers in an asshole and call it a vase.. meaning, you can't dress something up and think it's better.. it is what it is.

When someone is getting all testy/pissy:  Don't be gettin all riled up

I call every dog bubba.. doesn't matter what their name is.. or if it's a girl or boy dog.. it's still bubba to me lol

That's about as useful as tits on a bull frog... when you see/hear something that doesn't have any practical use

When something, food wise, has spoiled:  It's rancid

So what are some of your favorite sayings?